Carbonation

2005-09-10

Tonight Danny and I were editing a movie at my house, but having to wait for the computer to capture it from the camera, we had a fair amount of time to kill. Almost entirely run by carbonation, we were naturally drawn to Kwik Trip to audit their pop selection.

To my dismay, they no longer carried my favorite drink-- a potion that bestowed its drinker with sixty seconds of invincibility and augmented jumping skills-- so I checked out my other options. Most of them didn't interest me, so I kept browsing, desperately latching onto a distant hope of the ever elusive blast of refreshing fruity flavor, or the liquid rush of a cool mountain breeze. Time passed, and after a while it seemed like I was fated with mild inconvenience for eternity. I needed pop, fast.

My search ended when I came to the generic brand pop section. Labels like "Root Beer," "Cola," and "Red Pop" launched at me with a persuasive force I'd never before felt from any kind of gas station refrigerated section. And the prices-- imagine my shock upon learning that buying three twenty ounce bottles would discount me ten cents for a total of two dollars! Supporter of the Round Numbers in Commerce movement that I am, I accepted the offer.

We left the store, "Orange Soda," "Grape," and "Mountain Mist" in hand. I had always wondered what a mountain mist would taste like (though I was right guessing it would be bright green), so I drank that one first. It tasted like the average of every other lemon-lime pop I'd had before; generic not only in name and brand, but in flavor too.

Over the course of the next few hours, I moved through each bottle according to the change in my thirst and preference. The nutrition facts show that each bottle had thirty three grams of sugar, so according to my recent completion of the third bottle and my hifalutin' mathematicals, I'm pleased to announce the consumption of my ninety-ninth gram of sugar tonight.

But, in keeping with the ideals of my comrades at Round Numbers in Commerce, I need to go measure just one more gram and add it to a glass of water before I go to bed. Good night, and viva le mouvement!

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